Before I begin, some background: ChaCha is (for those not in the know) a service where you are able to text a question to the number 242-242. Soon after, they respond with an answer to your query. Admittedly, this service has pretty much lost all relevance since almost everyone has the internet on their phone and can look up the answer to any question instantly.
I, however, still have a regular old cellphone. I'd say its not a "smart" phone, but it's figured out how to turn itself off, only doing so at the most inconvenient times, leading me to believe it is becoming sentient.
 | |
| Oh, you want to send a text? Wouldn't you rather go fuck yourself? |
But I digress, technophobic rants are for another place, another time.
Since my cellphone does not have internet, if I want to know something, I either have to wait or ask ChaCha. Since waiting is a sucker's game, I often opt to hit up ChaCha.
In this instance, I wanted to know when season 4 of Arrested Development would premiere on Netflix. I knew it was happening, but I couldn't remember the exact date. With no computer present, I turned to ChaCha.
Now, what follows is a completely accurate* transcription of a conversation (via text message) that I had with the service ChaCha. I need to make it abundantly clear that I copied the text messages word-for-word. I don't want to be accused of libel for this blog.
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THE CONVERSATION
Me: When does the new
season of arrested development premiere on netflix
ChaCha: Dexter season 4 will premiere on September 27 and is currently filming. Have a great evening, ChaCha!
Me: When does the new
season of arrested development premiere on netflix
ChaCha: Hmm… we sent
that Answer to you already! Txt GETNEW to get a new answer.
Me: Getnew
ChaCha: It should be at
the end of September. For sure, some time this fall. Watch you showtime
listings!!! ChaCha rocks!!
Me: Hey chacha, When
does the new season of arrested development premiere on netflix
ChaCha: Dexter season 4
will premiere on September 27 and is currently filming. Have a great evening,
ChaCha!
Me: When does the new
season of arrested development, not dexter, premiere on netflix
ChaCha: The premiere of
the 6th season of ‘DEXTER’ airs on Sunday, Oct 2 at 9 PM ET/PT on
Showtime. Go ChaCha!
Me: When does the new
season of arrested development, not dexter, premiere on netflix. I emphasize,
NOT Dexter.
ChaCha: The premiere of
the 6th season of ‘DEXTER’ airs on Sunday, Oct 2 at 9 PM ET/PT on
Showtime. Go ChaCha!
Me: The show arrested
development, starring the likes of michael cera, jason bateman, jessica
walters, and will arnett is going to be premiering on netflix with a new
season. when does that happen? the
premiere, when is that?
ChaCha: The Season
premiere of The Office is Thurs, Sept 22, 2011 on NBC. Ciao, bella!
(A few moments later)
ChaCha: Yes it will be
appearing all new on netflix. Thanks for sharing. ChaCha for now
Me: I know that, when?
ChaCha: You’ll know
this when Matt calls you in the next few days. Don’t miss the call cause he
will only try once, then he’ll call Emily.
Me: What are you even
talking about, guys?! I just want to know when arrested development premieres
ChaCha: Second base is
one step up of First Base, which includes heavy petting and feeling up while
making out, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.
Me: I feel like I’m in
an alternate universe, am I being punk’d? I really just wanna know when the new
season of arrested development premieres
ChaCha: The new season
of Arrested Development premiers on May 26, 2013.
Me: Thank you
ChaCha: No, thank you!
I aim to please and you r happiness is what makes me do what I do!
…
And that was my adventure with ChaCha. It was... interesting. Interesting, in this instance, meaning like pulling gosh dern teeth.
Follow me on the twits: @HeyitsSOB
*The only inaccuracy in my recording of this was that I used premier instead of premiere for pretty much the whole conversation. So, I fixed a semantic error on my part. I don't think that's why the answers were wrong.
