This is a post that I began months ago in regards to me playing a video game. If you don't get any references, find the game and play it because it's amazing. Otherwise, you're on your own. Interspersed are some post night comments:
I decided, a minute ago, that I'm going to play the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time straight through.
It's 9:36pm and about half an hour ago I got the spiritual stone of the forest. Then stopped because I am a normal human being. I feel like a regular play through is one spiritual stone per sit down, then between one and three medallions per sit for the rest of the game. Not extraordinarily pertinent, but I'm letting you know. Then, succumbing to the minimal (i.e. none) pressure of some of my friends, decided to screw everything and play it until I finish. I shall chronicle that here.
So, we begin the journey at 9:38.
Leaving Kokiri forest at 9:39, stopped by Saria
I forgot I wasn't wearing my glasses, so I put them on for the sighted experience.
Also, I forgot to mention, Link's name is Bonobo in this play through... I just thought you should know.
940: Got ocarina, it kind of looks like a kidney bean. I was really tired when I was writing this, but this remains one of the truest observations that I have ever made.
941: this fucking owl. I didn't really have anything to add, so I looked him up. I literally just found out he has a name. It's Kaepora Gaebora. Who knew? Follow up, why does he need a name beyond "That Annoying Owl"?
942 rolling across hyrule field. Self explanitory.
943 missed bridge by inches. Even though this was months ago, I remember so vividly rolling and rolling across Hyrule Field only to be greeted with a drawbridge receding. I rolled myself into the moat on principle. This was, objectively, the most upset I've ever been. I was left to wallow in pity as I placed the controller on my bed and contemplated every life decision I had ever made as I awaited day and the lowering of the bridge.
946 owl. One word sums it all up. I don't know that I've ever actually read what he has to say. I should fix this, but I'll probably "forget".
949 passed most oblivious guards in the world now i have to wait for this damn egg to hatch. This was another moment when the controller was placed on my bed as I was left to linger in despair. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Who am I? Am I an active participant in my existence? There's a lot of waiting in this game is what I'm saying.
951 egg. I guess it hatched?
954 met zelda. It must have.
During that long bit of exposition with Zelda, I passed out on my bed. I just laid back hitting "A" and ignoring whatever she was saying about Ganondorf being evil and whatever and just passed straight out. I've never been actively doing something and fallen asleep before; I don't think. I woke up scared, alone, wondering where I was, Zelda staring at me expectantly. It was extremely disconcerting.
I failed pretty hard.
Sorry for the abbreviated post, I feel like this is lame even by my standards, but I wrote something and that is... something?
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